“You’re too imaginative Alex and too ambitious about your future self.”
“You daydream too much! Just come back to reality and forget about those ideas of yours, that way you won’t get disappointed later in life.”
Those were phrases that I heard too often in my teens and even adulthood. Whilst it didn’t really stop me from looking forward to growth and believed that personality evolves, it did create doubt, uncertainty, and lack of clear focus. Maybe you’re familiar with that too and managed to still pull through, but often feeling like you can be a lot clearer, imaginative, and decisive with your future self.
Having just finished reading the advance of Personality Isn’t Permanent (current book to read for our 3rd edition of the Book Club) by Dr. Benjamin Hardy, I’m grateful and honored that I got to read an advance of a book intended the clear-out much-accumulated life ambiguity, helping touch on traumas deeply buried in my life (some unbeknownst to me actually) that were keeping me away from truly moving on and imagine my own full potential.
Perhaps you too know the feelings, doubts, and self-doubt that come with these questions:
- I feel like there’s something more, but what is it and how to get there?
- What’s that thing holding me back?
- Why do I feel so tired when I want to make progress with my life? Where am I wasting my energy?
- Which way do I go now?
- How do I unstuck myself from things that keep me in my past?
- Who am I, and what am I doing here?
Consciously or not, we’ve all asked some or all of those questions at some point in our life. Wondering is a beautiful thing, but it can leave you with more questions than answers sometimes, creating more ambiguity.
Here’s where Personality Isn’t Permanent comes in to help. It’s a book written with love and from the personal experience of Dr. Benjamin Hardy and many others who have opened themselves to us so we can learn, take their examples, and make better judgments.
One of those persons, relevant to our shared passion for adventures, challenges, and exploration, is Vanessa O’Brien, who went from being a corporate and self-absorbed person to a devotee to helping the planet and adventurer who also:
- Became the first American and British (she has dual citizenship and thus qualifies for both) woman to climb K2, the second-highest mountain in the world, and harder to ascend than Mount Everest?
- Received the “Fearless Girl Award” in 2019 and was awarded Explorer of the Year in 2018 by the Scientific Exploration Society
- Set the Guinness World Record for climbing the highest peak on every continent in 295 days, the fastest time by any woman
Neither Vanessa, nor me, nor you, are the same people we were a few years back. Our personalities have changed to adapt to new circumstances. But here’s the million-dollar question: Were those circumstances designed/crafted/planned, or just environmental?
In Personality Isn’t Permanent, Dr. Benjamin Hardy goes into detail to explain why personality tests (which we’re all familiar with and directly or indirectly had some sort of impact on our lives) are doing us more harm than good, and how to be purposeful with our future.
Future Self practice
Past cannot be changed, but will you allow yourself to overcome your traumas and
- re-imagine yourself and your future
- make peace with your past
- become an astronaut, the next Crusoe, Steve Irwin or Indiana Jones
- climb K2, swim the Atlantic ocean or discover untouched caves of this world
- break the barriers and change carriers to become a shoemaker, lawyer, general, cleaner, environmentalist or the best baker in town
- become the change you want to see in the world
- or even just assess your current self?
Or will you just exist under the shadow and influence of others, omitting your pending growth?
Conscious or unconscious life, changes and experiences?
“Purpose isn’t something you discover, but something you ultimately choose for yourself.” – Dr. Benjamin Hardy
Personality Isn’t Permanent is a must-read, for its science, real-life examples, exercises which are pure emotional gold for breaking through our self imposed limiting beliefs and retrograded personality.
- Write my future self biography
- Daily journaling exercising gratitude for accomplishing my goals
- My input dictates my output
- Do the things in my current environment contribute or distract me from my future self?
- Strategic ignorance of things and activities that don’t contribute to my growth
- Is the food I’m eating contributing to my wellbeing?
- Create a future self mood board
Right after finishing the book, complete some exercises and analyze all the invaluable lessons, this phrase occurred and stuck to me (whether or not some said it before, I do not know)
“There is no greater future than the one you can imagine for your self” – Alex Budurovici
Let me know your thoughts and who’s your future self! I’d be happy to meet them and together work for a better world. You can extend this reading with my Do you want to unlock your mind’s unlimited potential? Meditate! article.